This is the House that Mom Built

In my ever continuing attempts to be more organized, I decided to clean out my Inbox and purge some emails. As I got near the bottom of the list, I came across the  an old email from October that I had 'saved' in my Inbox. ( My organized computer geek hubby would sigh and tell me to 'save' in a SAVED folder and how simple it is to create a file folder and label it Inspiration or something if I've wanted to save it for 3 months, but that's not how I roll. :)  I can do that. Ya, doesn't happen.. but I digress.)  Anyway, a dear friend had forwarded a daily message she receives from a site called Two Listeners. I'm not sure specifically what was going on in my life just then, but probably some worry about my two high schoolers, and if they were listening in my attempts to prepare them for life.  Or maybe it was a prayer request for strength as I worried if my 20 year old was surviving in Army Basic Training without the guidance of Mom and Dad and no real evidence of his own personal relationship with the Lord. As he faced the challenges of training, and the first time away from home, was he scared, lonely, struggling, doubtful??  I knew life was hard enough for me having God to talk to and an understanding that He was guiding me and with me. How hard must it be for my son if he doesn't know he can pray for strength and wisdom?? DOES he know??? Of course I had told them all these things and modeled them the best that I could. But was it in one ear and out the other? Is Mom just a weird Jesus Freak?  At 16, 17 and 20, it's somewhat normal for the kids to question things and fight to find their own identity in all areas, including faith. Still a Mama worries. Did I do/ Am I doing enough? Did I do too much and turn them off in some way? Does my example of consistent church attendance (alone, without the rest of the family), and leading a weekly Bible study even matter? Have I been a good friend, and generous enough? Did I show good character and faith and seek the log in my own eye more than the speck in others? After all, I'm still growing in my faith and strengthening my own beliefs!  All the shoulda couldas, what-ifs, oh- I -messed- that -up come rolling in.  See, I have been a Believer all my life, but really didn't become a Follower until about 3 years ago. So there was some Sunday school, some Vacation Bible School, some prayers, some Jesus talk in our house, some of Dad's Catholic religion background( and the scars), and some of mine( or lack thereof), but not much solid as I reflected in my less than rose-colored hindsight. Wait! Wait! Can I start over? I'd do things differently now... <sigh> Mamas worry.    When the birdies start getting ready to fly and you have less and less time for flying lessons, these things tend to feel urgent. At least they did/do for me. So, I can guess in that moment of insecurity, my friend was trying to provide comfort and an answer to the questions I still ask myself ...  Am I really making any long-term difference in the formation of their faith? And will I ever see the day when my whole family would show evidence of a strong  and personal, individual relationship with Christ? Can I trust, believe, pray, and wait for that time to come?  Here's what she sent... Home Building

You are building up an unshakable faith. Be furnishing the quiet places of your souls now. Fill them with all that is harmonious and good, beautiful, and enduring. Home-build in the Spirit now, and the waiting time will be well spent. But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost.  Jude 1:20 I thought and prayed about the message. Our kids are at the age where their faith must become theirs. Their beliefs must become their own and their relationship with God is a choice they have to make for themselves.  I got the picture of a Bachelor pad/ First Apartment versus a Home. When you start out, your furnishings are a mismatch. Mostly what others give you. Nothing goes together. Its not reflective of "you". You don't really have a style. Or your style is garage sale or Mama's attic.  Maybe a few solid heirloom type pieces. The chair from the family room. Grandma's chest chest. But as we grow and mature and develop ourselves and our style, we furnish our homes with our tastes, things we bought. Items that cost us something personally. And we set down roots for our own children.  But our house doesn't look like our parent's house. And it doesn't look like Grandmas house. We choose OUR colors, OUR furnishings. OUR Home develops it's own signature scent. Sure, those pieces from Mom and Grandma remain but now we are the Moms and Grandmas and we need our faith to be solid so it can be taken as a cornerstone when it's time.  Just like the mismatched furnished dwelling, when we are young, our faith is made up largely of others thoughts, ideas. What has been given to us. Good, bad, or lacking. If we are lucky, we get a chest full of Grandma's wisdom. Or we take with a us a comfy, well-worn chair that reminds us we are loved. But as we mature, we have to build our own Faith, decide what we believe and how we will live, make our own decisions, and take responsibility for our choices as an adult. So let's remember we are each responsible to maintain (and remodel when necessary), our own 'home' where Jesus dwells. Because ultimately, we stand in front of the Father on our own.   Romans 14:11,12 “For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” -  Just like I can't go to college with my baby and tell the professor that "He's a good boy, he just slept in." They can't stand before God with me and say " It's her fault I didn't seek You. This is the House that Mom Built. Don't judge me, judge her." Oh, I WILL be judged. But on my own and they the same. So, yes, we continue to be the example to our kids, remembering that actions speak louder than words and they are watching.  Yes, we have a responsibility in raising our kids.  Yet, at some point,  it is they who must FURNISH their own homes, and let Jesus dwell in the House that They Built.