Three Wise (wo)Men

This Christmas I was just in a funk.

It started early in December with the lack of desire to decorate. I kept hoping the spirit would kick in.
It's hard enough here in Florida when you are still running the A/C and there is no chance of a White Christmas, but it has gotten harder as the kids have become teenagers and there is very little "magic" left to be found.

We had all been fighting a virus as well, so no one wanted to do anything festive at all. The Grinch-y mood would come and go, but now it was Christmas Week. The most decorating I had done was put a red checkered (vinyl!) tablecloth over my kitchen table and place a gifted poinsettia in the center.

No tree. No stockings. No lights.

On one hand I told myself, "All that stuff is fluff. Jesus is the Reason for the Season." and on the other hand I felt guilty for not doing it.  

I went "inside". Inside my blanket on the couch. Inside my comfy, baggy, clothes. Inside my head.

I could not find happiness. I could not find Joy. I was fully depressed and for no good reason. There was nothing to be sad about, really.  I couldn't understand why I felt so sad, depressed, weepy, angry, joy-less. I hid it pretty well from my family and I'm sure they thought I was hormonal or just feeling sick.

This year more than ever I wanted to be rejoicing Jesus' birth. I had been blessed plenty in 2012. My spirit knew this but my flesh didn't care.

I tried praying. I tried reading scriptures. I tried playing Christmas music, watching holiday movies, baking some cookies. I couldn't pull out of it for very long, if at all.

Facebook was making me crazy but I couldn't stay away. Seeing everyone's Hallmark moments was killing me but I couldn't stop. Families posing for holiday pictures. ( Mine barely got out of pajamas.)  Beautiful trees with mountains of wrapped gifts. ( No tree.) Snowy vacations. ( It's in the 70's)  Elf on the Shelf.  (Yes. I wished to do Elf pranks, too. )

I got off the computer and into the shower. And cried. I begged God to reach out to me. It was Christmas Eve morning and He felt so far away.

Back in stretchy yoga pants and a towel wrapped around my head,  I thought I'd look for Him on my Bible App. I found this on The Message version: 

"Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want. (1 Peter 4:1, 2 MSG)

 

I clicked "Share on Facebook" and added to the comments "I have been depressed the past few days and trying to figure out why. And I think it's because my holiday plans don't turn out the way I want. Not in gifts or material things but my "Hallmark Channel" family time way. I've been focusing on what I don't have instead of what I do have. And everyone's Facebook posts make me sick. I am praying hard this morning to release this jealousy and be grateful. It is REALLY hard today."

Then God sent Three Wise (wo)Men bringing gifts from afar.

The first out-of-state friend private messaged me to tell me they were not having Hallmark moments either. Greedy kids and blow-out fighting disgusted her. She gave me Love and this scripture.

Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
 The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:6-7 

 

A little later, another friend who lives nearby text-messaged and shared her ugly. Her family was sick. She was doing it all, but alone.... and not by choice.  She brought Perspective and Micah 6:8

But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do,

what God is looking for in men and women.

It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,

be compassionate and loyal in your love,

And don't take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.

MSG Micah 6:8

Then a 3rd friend called from miles away and shared her REALLY ugly and we cried and prayed together. She shared a reminder about Mary, Jesus' mother. " Mary was doing EXACTLY what God wanted her to do and God still didn't make it easy for her. He didn't roll out the red carpet and make the perfect setting for His Son's birth. If He was going to make life easy for anyone it should have been Mary and Jesus. Quite the opposite. So remember despite the surroundings, look for the Joy."

She gave me Compassion and Peace.

As we talked we both thought that Christmas must be a huge "battle time" for the Enemy.

Think about it.

Even lukewarm and Non-Christians think about Jesus during the holidays. People feel charitable and have good will toward each other that they don't always have all year. Even The Whos and the Grinches come together!

But also at this time of year, people feel loneliness and depression, envy and greed as well. 

As we talked, it was clear that Christmas time must be a Main Event for both dark and light!  
So many people shining Light and celebrating the Messiah!
The Enemy must be working overtime to battle all that goodness!

There it was all wrapped up in John 10:10.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

I had been robbed. Robbed and bound for weeks.

But... the Truth and the "truth" will set you free.

Three different friends reaching out in three different ways with three different UGLIES and gifts to share. God didn't come directly at me but He sent Three Wise wo(Men) to share their "truth" and the Truth that binds us as Christian Sisters.

I  was Free again! Joy to the World! My Lord has Come! :)